End of October and that Extra Hour--YEAH!!!

AHHHHHHH......

Changing time...we had our cooler weather now we get the best part of the end of October: THAT EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP TONIGHT. For some reason it seems so great to just know that you have the extra time, even if you choose not to use it.

I love fall. I like the cooler weather, the changing colors, and the anticipation of Thanksgiving and especially Christmas. Thanksgiving is Joe's favorite holiday but mine on the other hand is Christmas. I could start decorating for Christmas in October, but this year I've tried to make a purposeful effort to decorate for fall and Thanksgiving. It just doesn't seem as pretty as Christmas, but I'll do anything to keep the Thanksgiving spirit alive for my hubby. This weekend is a little more exciting because we will take Carissa trick or treating 2 times, maybe. She is going to be a princess, courtesy of a cute flower girl dress from her Uncle's wedding. We are going to the new mall about 30 minutes from here tomorrow night for indoor trick or treating and then going to a few houses on Monday night. It is of course a Steeler's football night, but we being from Illinois originally, are not breaking any kind of secret club outing rule by trick or treating on such a "holy" evening.

We went to the park today...and the first thing Carissa wanted to do was of course, THE BIG SLIDE!! She has no fear. We didn't ease into the park on the swings, or the merry go round, but instead the huge slide. She feels confident enough if Daddy follows her up but she slid faster than she had before...but she came down smiling and giggling. She and Daddy also rode the merry go round and she was brave enough to try to move around as it was spinning--braver than me!! (and Daddy I think:) She then went for the smaller slides and eventually the swings before heading home for some warm veggie stew for dinner. She really didn't like the stew, but I can at least pretend like she was warmed up by the idea of eating it...again another reason we love Fall--soup and chili weather.

Well, enough rambling...I wish to use that extra hour this evening to do some much needed cleaning--yeah right!! I'm not doing any if I can get away with it!!!!

Enjoy your hour

Just a small shot of how much fun Carissa had at her Uncle Brian's Wedding.

Random Friday Thoughts

Most everyone probably watches Letterman now, but I still watch Leno when I can stay awake that late. I know that most of the people on TV are more liberal, democratic than I am, but it is really driving me crazy anymore...

...like why is it pretty much ONLY President Bush's fault that the Katrina area didn't get evacuated in time? What part of M-A-N-D-A-T-O-R-Y E-V-A-C-U-A-T-I-O-N was so hard for people to understand?!?! I'm sick of hearing about everyone criticizing everything and everyone...can't we all just work together to fix things that go wrong instead of placing blame on everyone else...

...or why do we keep criticizing the overweight people of our world when shows are not passing up the opportunity to promote the foods and drinks that cause the problem. We can't totally blame the advertisements because we all tend to pass on saying "when" to stop eating what isn't good for us, but come on, give us a break on advertising. I watch the short amount of TV with Carissa a day that we allow, and I am amazed by the McDonald's commercials that don't advertise any food, yet when we drive by a set of golden arches she yells "FRIES, FRIES!!" There's something there, I just can't figure it out...

...Joe made a good point the other day when we were in the car...what are people thinking when they put political bumper stickers on their cars and then they're there for good--what if you had the losing party on your car...I keep thinking of that every time I see a Kerry 2004 sticker in this area...

...Also, he noted that with the President's worst approval rating overall, Kerry still lost to him a year ago next month...ummmmmm?!?!

...Why is that when you sit down to try to get real work done, all you can do is stare at the screen trying to remember what was so important...Sometimes I just want to build blocks and have a simple day like Carissa does...

...My final thought for today is simple...I stink at the whole Pigskin Pick Em and it's driving me crazy to see Joe, Nathan, Fara, Taylor, and basically everyone stay ahead of me through the beginning of the season...I will have revenge and triumph(probably not, but it's worth the thought). I'm pretty sure Carissa would be beating right now if she had made up her own entry...

Pumpkin Picking for The First Time...

Celebration...

Well, I am refraining from titling this blog until I complete it's words...

I've read my brother's blog and discovered that including him, there are many people that cannot put into words the great fun of this past weekend. I repeatedly told Joe on the way to Indiana that I couldn't believe that my brother was getting married. Not that I didn't think that someone could love him, it's just strange to think about. Then Joe, in his infinited wisdom said, "Don't you think he felt the same way almost 5 years ago?" Yes I suppose he did, but come on I'm the big sister it's right for me to get married...I know Double Standard...

We traveled for a day and spent 2 1/2 days preparing for Friday and then I realized how excited he was to be marrying his true love...It was a great time and I know that from what people said and showed towards Brian and Sarah as well as to each other. I know for some of the people there it was like a college reunion of sorts, but for me it was seeing all of my brother's friends sharing in a blessing they had been praying for for him for quite some time. We all were praying for the right person to come along, weren't we?! The idea behind the toast at the reception was for the guys to all share there thoughts on what a community was to them(excuse the paraphrasing-I'm not the minister in our family), and each one shared a thought about Brian and how he had made a difference in their life. That says alot, doesn't it? When You can get enough guys up there willing to say their thoughts about someone they've known less than all of their lives, but who means so much...

We are tremendously excited about having Sarah join our family. I hope we are able to get to know her better and better for the rest of our lives. Thank you God for letting us share in this joyous time...

October Thoughts

This October brings time to clean and reorganize before the next baby arrives in November. I started to prepare a few months ago, but I am trying to get a little bit done every week so I'm not overwhelmed as much as with the first baby coming home. I'm thinking more about what will she get into like Carissa did or what will Carissa show her how to do...The surprises of parenthood.

We've also been trying to get Carissa ready to be a big sister. She can say her sister's new name, but not too loud so maybe it's just a person she thinks is coming to visit for awhile. I think she's going to make a great big sister, but it's kind of scary to think about how chaotic everything will be. I know I can do it because other families have more than one kid, so we'll be fine...

Carissa has tried on her flowergirl dress at least 5 times and each time she stays upset longer when she has to change out of it. I just hope she'll like wearing it for the wedding next week. I still can't believe my brother is getting married. He just seems different now that he's growing up before our very eyes...

Mainly my concentration has been on trying to spend as much time with Carissa as I can before her sister comes along. It's so hard to think about having another little one to love this much. She continues to change every day. Today she enjoyed riding up and down the escalator at the mall with her Daddy. She just yells "Mommy, mommy" as soon as she gets me in her sight. I was at a ladies breakfast this morning and when I got home she came running across the living room to see me saying "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" the whole time. It's great to have someone be that excited to see you when you walk in the door of your home...

Monday Morning Quarterback

I have to admit in writing that I probably didn't even know things like ESPN, Fantasy Football, or anything like that existed before I met Joe. I knew there were sports teams out there, but I didn't realize that there were channels devoted to them and entire Saturdays, Sundays and often Mondays used to broadcast their games, matches, rounds, or whatever...So needless to say before we moved here, I never knew there was a "game" called Pigskin Pick 'em were you try to guess who will win the games played each weekend and then you are ranked on your team. I want to thank Joe and Nathan for getting me into this--well, not really. I can have an awesome week, like last week and then totally, I MEAN TOTALLY, bomb the next. As Joe sat to look at the results this morning saying, "YOU ONLY GOT 3 GAMES, RACHEL?!?!" Thank you dear. I feel even more excited to know about sports on a day like today. I think sometimes it's like your in a parralel world that knows what to do right with this game, but I try to hold true to the teams I know. I always pick Joe's Bears and our Pittsburgh Steelers. Now, isn't that devotion to teams?!?!

Oh, well...I woke up this morning knowing that it was going to be raining, but it's really a dreary day...Again, I've blogged about this before and it usually happens on Mondays--Joe's day off. WE are going to work around the house today. Maybe I can talk him into getting a few things done that I wouldn't mind having done. Well, I can hope...I mean it is his day off.

Well, we are home for a whole week this week. We don't have anything planned until Oct. 7 and then it's crazy for about a week--until my brother's wedding. Brian, ONLY 20 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Thoughts

It's been a whirlwind month...We start so slowly trying to ease back into the swing of things with school starting. Then all of a sudden there are football games, track meets, and all the other things that come with the beginning of the school year. I sometimes miss the chaos of work, but then I think to myself, how could I do it all?!?! I'm so happy that some people can, but man I'd be beat...

We returned from our annual Brown County trip a day late and a dollar short--well not really thanks to my Dad and his talking about the "warranty" on our new tires...We were leaving Nashville, Indiana on Sunday afternoon and I noticed this loud tire noise. About that time a huge camper went sailing by so I assumed that it was coming from that. Then I noticed that my side of the car was shaking a little bit more than it really should be. Sure enough, upon pulling over to examine the problem, we discovered a flat, VERY flat, tire. We called AAA, because we pay for and we should try to stay in contact with them when we can, and they said it would be a guaranteed time of 2 HOURS!!! So, Joe thought if he could get the spare on in less time than that, he could call and cancel the request. After unloading a fully packed trunk, we had to try to figure out how to remove the jack that was practically bolted to the inside of the car. Are these so valuable that they need that much of a security feature as to not be able to remove them unless you are a body builder? So, needless to say my strong man did remove it and started to get the tire changed. About the time he was 3/4 of the way done, a van pulled up behind us. The guy stated "I'm from AAA and they sent a notice that you had a flat tire." I told him that they had told us 2 hours and he just laughed (definitely not that humorous to Joe). He offered to finish and was done in about 5 minutes. He told us to drive into Walmart in Columbus, IN and see if they could fix the tire and we could be on our way. So, we headed into Columbus and got to Walmart. My Dad, in his infinite wisdom proceeded to tell the guy in the tire department what happened and the guy asks if they are under warranty. "Sure they are," says my Christian Seminary professor father!! He had no clue one way or the other. So, the car was fixed in about a half hour and we were on our way--to sitting traffic on I-65 North. Road construction is a lovely thing, eh? We finally got to the south side of Indy and stopped to eat dinner--or supper for those of you in Illinois. By this point we were all pretty exhausted and we had to decide if we wanted to start our 6+ hour trip back to Pittsburgh or not. We opted not to and stayed at a hotel in Indy. Thankfully we had a great day traveling on Monday and got back home around 4:30. We stopped for dinner then, because unfortunately, I had to do the second gestational diabetes test on Tuesday morning at 7 A.M. So, I couldn't eat anything after 7 P.M. on Monday night. So, to make a short story long, we had a great weekend and then some delays but made it home safely...

We went to my regular doctor's appointment yesterday and everything is fine with the test. We scheduled the C-section for November 22nd--1 day after my birthday, 2 days before Thanksgiving, and 7 days before Carissa's birthday. Hopefully it will be a little earlier than that--it would stink to be in the hospital for Thanksgiving. But on the other hand I'm not a big turkey person, so they could just bring me food later in the day or something...we'll see.

Anyway that was our weekend and trip back. Carissa enjoyed playing with some new friends over the weekend--Micah(4), Rachel(2 weeks older than Carissa) and Benjamin(7). She pretty much followed or played with Micah most of the time. He kept saying her name and vice versa. It was pretty cute!!

Our next mission: October 7th--Fall Campus Challenge in Lincoln and then from there my little brother's wedding on October 14th. I still can't believe how fast the time has gone...

For now I think I'll try to enjoy some laundry washing and folding. As well as some quality time with Carissa...

Life In Steeler Country

This reaches everyone who reads this from a place most of you don't refer to Pittsburgh as, BUT if you live here you know that this is STEELER COUNTRY

Today, Sunday, is a holy day. This afternoon, is a holy afternoon. The Steelers played and fortunately--THEY WON...This is always important because it sets the mood for most workplaces, schools, and other areas in Pittsburgh. We have learned as transplants to this area that A)if the Steelers lose--it'll be a bad week or B)if the Steelers win it will be a good week. It can kind of be compared to if we A)attend church it will be a good week or B)it will be a bad week if we didn't attend. What if that was all it took for us to have good weeks or bad weeks? But we do sometimes base it on things such as when OUR team wins or loses...

Well, that's my sports analogy for the week...on to more important or random thoughts...

Carissa is a great joy. Sometimes we have our weak times and she had a few this week. She was having a playdate with a little boy from church and decided to BITE HIM...I never thought I would have a biting kid!! Okay some of you may have just been waiting for it to happen, but I do have to say it was a little sad for me. I felt like I had actually been biting her to teach her to do it--BUT TRUST ME I WOULDN'T WANT TO TEACH THIS LESSON...When I picked her up I told her to apologize and in her little voice she says, "SOWWY" probably not even knowing what she had said or why she said it, but hoping it was on her mind as to why she was saying it...

She has now also realized that when we ask her to do something she says, "NO" and then looks at us when we ask a second time and then she eventually does the task and moves on to her own next project...

Life is great. This week we will be preparing to travel to Brown County in Nashville, IN on Thursday. You really never think about planning out the week of trip but I have...I LOOK SO FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND ALL YEAR!!!!! Monday will be laundry day, Tuesday will be car day--oil change, tires and other assorted jobs, and Wednesday will be baking day--Oatmeal Cookies and Sugar Cookies for traveling and visiting this next weekend. I will enjoy most moments of preparing for the trip--minus Monday and Tuesday's activities, but I know the weekend will fly right by like it always does. Why is that? The most fun you have always goes right by--without even knowing where the time really went.

Well, not much more to say--or that I even said much...

Enjoy your week--you know we will here in STEELER COUNTRY

Parks and Great Weather

We have so much fun with our daughter...

...Saturday in Pittsburgh was absolutely beautiful. We spent a nice day at home and in the evening walked up to our local park. Carissa surprised us both by walking directly up to the biggest slide in the park. Joe faithfully followed her up the steps and she was smiling the whole way up. She started to slide down...let me fill you in that Carissa might actually be the world's slowest "slider." So, usually on her little slide at home, she slowly says, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" for something that should only really take a "WEEE" to show her excitement in the sliding activity. So needless to say she does enjoy it tremendously, but sometimes for little too long!!

...Joe loves to play all of the little games at the park--riding on the merry-go-round, spinning the little toys, pretending she can hang and travel across the monkey bars(unfortunately she got her coordination from me--I could never get all the way across). She loves every minute of her time playing. But then she also enjoys all the things she sees as we walk back home. She points out the trees, the birds, the bunny running in a yard, and especially the planes, or as she calls them "PANE, PANE!!!" ecstatically every time she hears or sees one.

...Life is great. Enjoying the cooler weather, anticipating new discoveries with Carissa, and learning everything she has to teach us as well...

The Fall Season

After reading everyone's ode to fall blogs I feel compelled to write what I think about fall...

Fall always brings the thoughts change. Growing up you think about the leaves changing and raking them into a huge pile to play in and eventually bagging up to set out for the trash truck. It reminds us of heading back to school--this feeling lasts longer for some of us than others...well into the college years.

When you are older you start to think about how the upcoming winter will be...for us the last two years and this one we are anticipating great changes in our home. In 2003 we welcomed Carissa at Thanksgiving time and then celebrated her first birthday the following year with huge milestones to follow...This year, again, we will welcome a new little girl into our lives. I don't think Carissa quite knows what it all means but she does try to say her new little sister's name and she says, "LUV BOO" to her when she hears her Daddy say it. Carissa is growing up so fast and fall will always remind me of the changes she has made in the last year.

We also always look forward to our annual trip to Brown County/Nashville, Indiana every year. There will be at least 18 people there this year. It really feels like a family reunion when we get there and the time always flies right by and it's over before we know it. We get to just relax, shop, eat and most of all spend time with one another. Our family never really had family reunions, but this is my version of one--just with family we're not even related to. It's crazy to say this, but I think we've been doing this for like 15 years--once the parents let us in on the treat of going...

This fall also brings great excitement to our family because we will also be getting a new family member in October. As crazy as it feels to say and hear my little brother is GETTING MARRIED!! Sarah, his fiancee, is a great person and they make each other laugh and I see such happiness in his face and hear it in his voice. I know their excitement and they are in for the rollercoaster of their lives with the fun that marriage has to offer and the learning experiences we have during the first few years...I'm so happy for Brian.

Well, those are my feelings about Fall--the most comfortable season I can think of. I love to be outside without a jacket but have one just in case it rains or gets chilly. But I always enjoy the first snowfall too...more to come on that in the colder months.

Rainy Days

Don't rainy days just stink? Especially when I know Joe has a day off, it stinks...We try to make outdoor plans and then have to change them when it decides to rain...But I am thankful it's only rain.

Rainy days make me think of many things...

...Don't you ever think about dancing in the rain--I know I sound cheesy, but it really is fun. Carissa has let me learn to like the rain again. She loves to look up and just open her mouth to feel the rain falling into it!! Kids are amazing that way.

...It makes me appreciate the fact that we get enough rain/precip to keep us alive by allowing enough food to grow and feed us.

...I also try to think of all the things we could do inside instead of being on the outside. I've sorted pictures before, I've watched movies before, I've cleaned more before, but most importantly I've NAPPED MORE!!!

...I always sit at the door and sing the rain songs to Carissa too!!

"It's raining, its pouring the old man is snoring...He went to bed, bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning!!"

"Rain, rain go away...Come again another day!!"

She usuallly laughs because I fill in "old man" with Daddy or Papa(Grandpa). She knows who the real the snorers are in this family.

Life just gets better and better with my family. Carissa is saying and doing so much more each day. She's growing like I can't believe. We are constantly amazed at her advancements. She is just an awesome blessing to us. We have tried to teach her how to say her soon to be little sister's name--so go ahead and give it a try to get it out of her! She talks to the baby and says "Love boo" for love you.

She is a dancing machine!! If she hears music she's movin' She sure doesn't have my rhythm, but she has fun. She and Daddy dance around pretty much every night. She'll be a hit at Uncle Brian's wedding in October. I know I'm going on and on, but who wouldn't?!?!

We are so in love with our life...God has given us so much and we are so thankful for it all. I need to remind myself to say that to Him more often...Do you?

AHHH....Another Summer comes to an end.....

Wow!!! Once May and June hit it seems so difficult to find time to even think let alone update the blog.

We graduated 4 seniors this year...Gabrielle Blazier, Jen Hain, Ruthann Malsch, and Jon Russell. This is the first group of kids that Joe has had from the time they were in Jr. High through their graduation. It's amazing how the time flew but probably dragged by for them. We are happy to say that 3 of our kids are going to attend a Christian college this fall!! Jen, Ruthann, and Robby Bane are going to LCC in about a week. It's amazing how God works in people to let them see an opportunity like LCC and take advantage of it. We're sooooo excited for them. Deep down I will miss them all--their funny stories, their talks about anything, the trips we've taken with them. But I'm glad this is one trip they are taking on their own. They are going to love it all. I want them to soak all of college life in...

We have taken two trips to Milligan College this summer. We took 4 kids plus the 3 of us to CIY Summer Conference in June. We then turned around and took Robby and Jen to Lincoln to visit the school 3 days after returning from CIY (LOTS OF DRIVING). We then had a visit from Carissa's grandparents for the week of July 4th and then followed that up with the Jr. High Mission trip through CIY. We took 6 kids plus 5 adult sponsors. It was something new for most of the adults as well as the kids. Good work, good fun, good to get home. On July 29th, I headed to Illinois for a visit and Joe, along with 15 others, headed to Mexico for the High School Mission trip. They worked with a family to build them a house. It's amazing what these kids and adults can do in a week of work and dedication.

Along with busy trips with kids we have been preparing ourselves and Carissa for her new sibling arriving in November. We've had 2 ultrasounds and the technician told us that we are expecting another little girl...Joe's so great with Carissa and I know he'll be just as great with this little blessing. So, for now Carissa loves seeing babies, but I don't know how she'll be with one staying in our house.

We now see the summer coming to a close with VBS this week and a few more youth events. We look forward to a fall filled with exciting events: Youth Group Kick-off, Our annual Brown County trip and then our final long distance trip to my little brother's wedding in October. We are so happy to be traveling for this great day. He's marrying a great girl and we're getting another family member that will fit right in--but I don't know if that's good for Sarah or not....

Well, I need to get going. Carissa is not happy about a tree being cut down outside. I guess I'll have to sit and comfort her for awhile--ahh the torture of relaxation for a moment!!

Scent or Sound

It is said that scent has the strongest memories related to it. However, I would like to counter that with a word from the Sound department. I am sitting here listening to whatever is playing on the radio. I have heard Men at Work--Be Good Johnny, Rick Springfield--Jessie's Girl, and now the Walk this Way by RUN DMC & Aerosmith. These songs return me to a time and a place that belongs in yesterday. I can still remember my first Record--> Cheap Trick. I won it in a music contest at my school. I remember the Men at Work cassette and finally seeing a video with Steven Tyler in it. These all bring a flood of memories back. I cannot tell you how awesome it is.
Sure their are some scents I will never forget. Grandma's laundry scent--each time you would pick up a towel and smell that scent. Maybe it is smell of your mom's purfume, or even worse your dad's cologne. Man dad had some real Old Spice moments. I remember them all. Yet the music seems to connect with me even more. I can remember those one hit wonders that screached out some awesome power ballads. I remember how I associated emotions with those songs. I also remember associating relationships with certain songs. I cannot listen to "We Built This City" without remembering Debbie. She loved to play that song over and over again. My mother always listened to Charlie Pride, My dad listened to Roy Clark Live, My sister wore out her Stairway to Heaven album. My Brother Tom listened to the Cars and Billy Joel.
Their tastes have changed over the years. At least my families has, I hope Debbie's has also. Still, I remember them everytime I hear a certain song. Right now the song "Tricky" is playing. My brother Tim thought this rocked for such a long time. Tim has moved through many different sounds. Still, we can put together songs, people and emotions. Sure scent can do that, but I have more memories with music than I do with scent.
Sounds--family, friends, and more all come rolled up with that song on the radio.
In Christ,
Joe

Life moves so fast

It is May already. Things have really been busy. The schedule for May does not seem to slow down much. The exciting thing is our daughter is so much fun. She definitely is headed into the terrible two's. Meaning she is searching out her boundaries. She still does not say many words so we are left to guessing what exactly she is grunting or crying for. However, I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to see her moving on to the next part of her life. God is amazing. The child He has entrusted to us is so cute. I know I am a proud father, but she just makes so many people smile. Her laugh, her joy, her overwhelming love for others is incredible.
I wish I could take credit for it, but that would be a lie. I know that Rachel and I do our best, but she goes way beyond us. We are not that awesome. Well, Rachel is. She truly overwhelms us with her personality. It amazes me how such a little one can make so many people smile.
Well, back to my original thought. Life moves fast. She used to be so stationary. You could guarantee where she would be if you left the room. Now, you have to put a boundary around her every where you go. She will move through any crack or crevice that is left for her to squeeze through. My personal favorite is when she starts through an area like a chair and the wall, and then gets stuck. She will wine until we move the chair so she can get by. No turning back. Always moving forward is her motto.
I look forward to tomorrow. I look forward to seeing how she will be different. Life moves so fast.

Random thoughts for today.
--I am amazed at how Carissa knows how to pick up the blanket when she is ready for a nap.
--Adult nap time should be a part of everyone's day.
--The words "High fructose corn syrup" just plain sounds good.
--You can always tell if something is bad for your body, if you stop eating or drinking it, does your body go through withdrawal. Then it is bad. Caffiene--bad, too much sugar--bad, candy--bad, Nyquil--bad, healthy food--no withdrawal symptoms, hmm. Further investigation is necessary.
--Why can't school be longer in the winter, shorter in the spring, and never during the summer.

Mouthpiece

I have the incredible honor of preaching this sunday at BCC. What? That is right. I am speaking the word of God this Sunday. You also are right, I should be working on the sermon and not posting a blog. Still, I wanted to get this written down while I am still thinking. I cannot imagine God choosing me to speak. I really cannot imagine God wanting to use someone of my character, my action, my life to speak on His behalf. As Paul says, I am the chief sinner (Joe's version). I truly do not know how God works through people in general. This person specifically.
Yet I am amazed that only through fools does God continue to work. Sure their are some great men that God has used, yet God also works through many fools. We are simply able to sit before Him and honor Him. Humbling oursevles and crying help to God. I do my best to simply let Him work through me. That is always my prayer.
I have been tasked with the idea of Jesus' humanity. No small task. I have many thoughts on this. However, you will need to come Sunday to hear them. Another thought that has come to me from my readings is our adoption by God. I am adopted into the family of God. The Spirit testifies on my behalf. I am amazed that through this adoption I am an heir. Imagine that. An heir to God. I cannot fathom.
I am struck by this thought...because I know Jesus, I know God. I know this is not a deep thought, but it is a deep statement. That is right. Have you ever thought about your knowledge of God without Jesus. What would you know? I wonder how messed up I would be without Jesus. In fact, how much would I believe in God without Jesus. Jesus is my understanding of God. Jesus is my example of God. I am without direction without Jesus' direction.
Mull that over. Run with that thought. Where are we without Jesus?
I'll have more to say on Sunday.
In Christ,
Joe

Dealing with it

I have spent the week dealing with some things that have bothered me from my past. It really all started with the Illini loss on Monday. I really took it hard. I couldn't figure out why I was in so much pain. Being a sports fan, especially a Cubs fan, I have learned to handle disappointment in quite a few ways. Yet somehow this loss hurt me more than most. I was stunned to realize just how much.
I have also been reading The Emotionally Healthy Church. It really talks about how our health depending on dealing with issues, not pushing them aside. I really found myself looking at some other past problems. I was amazed at how much things had been suppressed. I took a really good look at things and found myself feeling the pain in different areas. It just was released through the Illini loss.
I have spent the week dealing with my shortcomings. The difficulties of not dealing with issues, and most of all I realized that I have to face some serious problems. It was great to talk to my good friend Nathan Reed about them. He really is a blessing. I hope you have someone you can share your feelings with. Someone that really listens and helps.
It is easier to think about other things. It is so much easier to think about my little girl, our child that is on the way, my loving wife. These are the things I like to deal with. They are easier. They do not cause as much pain. Yet as I work through the pain, I have had a much better week. My life is changing. I am glad, but I would still rather avoid the pain. The pain helped me grow. Deal with it.

Some thoughts.
--Why do dirty diapers happen when your wife has left for class?
--Why do kids always reach for the most dangerous thing they can find?
--It always amazes me that we spend so much time searching for relationships that are hard or difficult. We usually are surrounded by so many loving and caring people. Yet, they are not the ones we choose, we tend to seek after that which we cannot have. Maybe we are like the children reaching for the most dangerous thing we can find.
--I hate difficult conversations. Yet they tend to be the best. We often avoid the tough question, but if we actually discussed them more often, we might enjoy are converstaions more. At least they would be more real.
I hope you enjoy your week,
In Christ,
Joe

Happy Anniversary

Today is our 4th Anniversary. Wow! I never thought I would be saying that. No, not for the reason you think. I just never thought I would be fortunate enough to have someone stick with me for so long. I think my previous best was 4 months or so.
The past 4 years has seen many good and some bad times. I know that through it all my wonderful, loving wife has been at my side. I have never doubted how much she cares for me, or how much she has sacrificed to be with me. I know that I am not the easiest person to live with. I am sure Rachel can tell you a few items that are pet peeves of hers. Yet she loves me beyond my faults and I am thankful for that.
I just wanted to let you know a few memories I have over the past 4 years.
--I will never forget the way she looked when she was holding Carissa for the first time. Her love was beaming from her whole body. She was so worn out, yet so excited. Rachel is not only a great wife but a great mom also.
--I always appreciate the fact that I get to check out all sounds, smells, and so on. Of course, I never actually see them, hear them, smell them, but since my loving wife does, then I will check them out. My absolute favorite is 2 minutes after I have put my head against the pillow, Rachel will ask, "Is the front door locked?" "Did I leave a candle burning?" or something that I will obviously have to check on.
--Some of my favorite laughs come during the night, when Rachel talks to me in her sleep. Quite often she will make a comment, or tell me to do something in her sleep. I am so glad that I do not have follow orders.
--My wife is such a caring woman. She wants what is best for children. Always. I can count on her being upset with some parents that--were not watching their child, did not take care of their child properly, or simply were too selfish to notice what their child was doing. She dislikes anyone that puts themselves before their children. This was a trait that my mother instilled in me, and one I simply love about Rachel.

All of these things may not be enjoyable to you, or may sound like I am complaining. Yet when you love someone, then even the things that seem painful bring joy. I may grumble about getting up to check on something, or I might lose a wink of sleep when she talks to me, but all of these things go into why I love my wife. I waited many years to find her, and am glad I did not get in a hurry. Thank you Rachel for 4 great years, no matter what the other circumstances in my life, you have made them great.
Love,
Joe

The Weekend Comes To An End

Well, another weekend with Carissa's grandparents came to an end yesterday. It's always a little sad to have to drive them to the airport and wave the last goodbyes for a few months....

I think Carissa probably has the best grandparents ever...sorry to you other grandparents. They come here so excited to see her and aren't disappointed by anything she does or doesn't do. She really had changed since Christmas....she walks, talks alot more, and has her own personality now. I think it was fun for them to see the emerging person in this little girl. What fun it is to see her kiss and hug them....and how fun it is to watch them as she does it.

We have a whirlwind of visiting over the next 6 months or so. We will get to be home for Uncle Brian's graduation in May and then have him come out and visit us in May. We will get to see Grandma and Grandpa for July 4th and then fly back to Illinois again in August. We really love seeing family and wish we were closer.....God works in mysterious ways to have us appreciate others from our love for them--near or far.

In Sickness

My life was turned upside down on Tuesday. It was the first day that both Rachel and Carissa were ill. I have been around each when they were not feeling well, but having both of them sick at the same time was different.
I know that part of your marriage vows that goes in sickness and in health. It has always been a joy to help take care of my sick child or my sick wife. The difficulty is when they are both sick. You seem to always be challenged as to what to do.
By most standards it was pretty easy. Neither one needed constant attention. Yet, they both needed to be looked after to some extent. Nothing else seemed to matter. I know that for me it was a labor of love. Taking care of your loved ones. Making sure they are okay.
Carissa is especially cuddly when she doesn't feel well. She loves to sit in your lap and rest. In fact, that is one the ways I know she is not feeling well. She does not like to be taken out of your lap. She just wants to be held.
It is ironic how we want God to hold us during the sick parts of our lives. We never want Him to put us down. Yet we constantly feel alone. We are so unsure of ourselves that we feel like God is not there for us. When we know God would not leave us in our time of need. He is constantlywanting to hold us. Like any father would want to hold there sick child. Our Heavenly Father has no less compassion than an earthly father.
I love taking care of my wife also. I am taken care of by her so often in my life that it is infrequently that I get a chance to return the favor. Yet when I do, I feel so much love. That I can finally return unto her some of the care she is always heaping upon me. It is not a contest. You give because you love. Most often we give even though we do not know how much we are giving. It is natural to do so (or at least I hope it is natural for you). Yet you cannot measure how much you gave and how much she gave and then expect compensation. Instead, you give knowing that your love is given in that care that you share.
I am glad that I can give. I am happy to share. I hope that it made her day better. I love both of them. I enjoy being able to meet their needs even more. What a blessing to be the giver?